I worked so hard to be the best mom on the planet. Sure my mom was great in her way but she spent the teenaged years and beyond with me differently than she did the early years. As I grew up I was always reminded of how my birth changed everything in their life. As my mom said on numerous times “We had fun till you came along. We had to quit having friends, going out and having fun.” She sorta went nuts around the time I was 18, calling me names and treating me like crap. So when I was blessed with my daughter I wanted to make her feel as wanted and as loved as possible. I hosted elaborate parties and sleepovers. I volunteered at school. I taught her to love going to the movies and the wonderfulness of an icee! I’ve always come to her rescue and defended her to the end, even when sometimes I had a sneaking suspicion she might be at fault, because I believed in her! So on May 26th, when she rode off into the sunset (so to speak), I realized that things will never be the same for her and me. They won’t be better but they won’t be worse, they will just be different. And different isn’t always so bad!
So why do I focus on all of this right now? Well the goats were and are a part of her. So when I go down to that swamp filled pasture tonight (and possibly consider building an ark, lol) and bottle feed Wiggles, let Waggles climb up my back and sit on my shoulder, let Brownie cuddle with me, chase Guy down and try to make him like me, I am in effect channeling Savannah. I’m reliving the cuddling, the games we played, and the adventures we had. So what if my new kids have 4 legs? (There were days that I swore Savannah smelled like a goat! OMG she will kill me for that one!) Kids are kids, they all need love!
Be udderly beautiful!